Driving home in the car yesterday, I was listening to Michael Savage on the radio, and he said something I’d never heard before.
He said that when a man feels inferior in a social situation, he speaks in a higher voice than normal.
And conversely when a man feels dominant in a social situation, he’ll naturally speak in a lower voice.
I can’t remember now why Savage was talking about this. Savage often talks about strange topics, if only to keep himself entertained at times on the air.
But I digress.
As I heard that men’s voices go up when they are intimidated and go down when they feel dominant, I immediately agreed.
And I thought this a useful tip to share with you.
Most people never think about how their voice comes across to others.
You generally don’t make a conscious effort to monitor or control your voice qualities. How fast you speak, the how high or low your voice is, etc. are probably things you pay very little attention to.
Well just because you probably aren’t currently monitoring and manipulating your own voice doesn’t mean that you can’t.
You see the flip side about what your voice does when you feel inferior is that the person you are speaking to you unconsciously perceives you exactly that way – as weak or inferior.
So if you are making a cold call on someone is a "higher up", or if you are going into a negotiation with the "top executive", you might naturally have a tendency to feel intimidated.
And this is natural as we are conditioned early on, beginning with age grouped grade levels in school, to perceive class distinctions among people in society.
So while it is natural to get intimidated, you don’t have to let this happen to you.
In fact there is an easy way to counter the effect of you being perceived as weak with your voice going up in a selling situation.
What you do is take counter the emotion of feeling intimidated with the voice qualities of being dominant.
As soon as you feel those butterflies in your stomach, as soon as you feel "at risk", tune your mind in to how your voice will sound.
Then force yourself to speak a little slower and a little lower. Hold your back straight, and your chest high. And keep your eyes focused in one place for a longer period of time.
If you do these things, you will begin to feel confident.
You will come across as an equal, or perhaps even dominant.
And this truly does work, because all the tips I gave you here are the things your body and voice do when you *do* feel confident first.
By consciously leading with your body and voice you can get your feelings to follow.
You may not have heard this before (unless of course you are student of my persuasion courses), but true this is.
To learn more about how to use your most undetectable persuasion tool – your voice – you should check out my Rapport Skills courses now.