About a year ago I took a training on how to kill people.
Now it might be easier to call this a self-defense course, a practical martial arts program, or a combat training system.
But the simple fact is, this was a training on how to kill an attacker, when the chips are down, it’s him or me, and there is no other option.
The training was designed by a former Naval Warfare Intelligence Officer who was instrumental in creating the modern hand-to-hand combat fighting techniques taught to the Navy SEALs today.
I figured before this training that maybe I was gonna learn a lot of fast punches, kicks, throws, and other Bruce Lee kinda stuff.
But I was wrong…
How to stop an attacker isn’t about the kick or the punch.
The most important thing I learned was how to think about attackers and violence.
I had some experience with violence before taking this program.
I had a gun pulled on me once.
I got in more than my share of fights as kid.
And I’ve had my nose broken 5 times. One time in a fist fight, the other incidents each have their own story…
I walk around in state of constant awareness of my surroundings probably as a result of these and other experiences in my life. I am always both curious about the world around me while simultaneously scanning for and assessing possible threats.
But the training added something new to my thinking.
It gave me the distinction between people who want to “teach you a lesson” and people who plan to kill you.
Bar fights, and fights between boys, usually involves showing off, standing up for pride, and teaching someone else a lesson.
All stupid stuff. Some of which I participated in when I was younger though.
All this kind of violence, you just want to stay away from, talk your way out of, and avoid at all cost.
Because in standing up for your pride, you can still freakin die in a bar fight.
The other guy probably doesn’t want to kill you. But when fists, feet and hands fly you never how bad the damage will be.
Some guys have died in bar fights not from getting punched but from smacking their skull on the ground when they got knocked down.
Those sorts of “ego clashes” I stay away from.
And I actually have stayed away from such clashes for a long time, but before this weekend of training, I always felt a pull that if only I was more of badass – you know, bigger, stronger, faster – then just maybe I wouldn’t have to worry when someone verbally challenged me.
My thinking flipped though after the first hour of this program because we spent some time looking at videos of prison murders and street fights, and we talked about all this kind of “real world” stuff that most of us never experience.
And the fact that you can die, unintentionally by getting knocked down badly way in a bar fight, just aint worth it.
Had never really thought about that one before…
Knowing when to fight, and when to walk away was one of the two biggest lessons of the program.
The bulk of the rest of the time was spent learning and practicing how to kill attackers quickly once you’ve made the decision that you have to.
To do that though, we first had to get into the mindset that there is no half-way on violence.
You either need to turn it on to kill someone who is intent on, or likely to kill you. Or you talk your way, and walk your way out of lesser, ego-driven, shows of toughness.
I have a certain confidence now that I didn’t have before.
And I tell you about this for a reason.
Selling involves a lot of ego and pride too.
Too many sellers go after deals, or stick with certain deals for too long, because they got something to prove.
And much like a bar fight where you get banged up, bruised and bashed in even when you win, going after deals you shouldn’t be in will beat you up too.
There is no pride to be had in battling for a sale, because “Hey I gotta be in the game too”.
I used to hear that kinda crap all the time from some of the sales managers and sales reps I knew.
Saying “I gotta be in the game too” is a formula for working REAL hard, getting your ass-kicked a lot, and not making a lot of money.
You’re much better off honing your opportunity assessment skills and training your mind to learn how to get out of every opportunity as early as possible, and with confidence that it is *not* your deal.
You see the truth about selling is not every opportunity, is an opportunity for *you*!
I hope that I never have to kill someone else.
And as a result of my new way of thinking I don’t worry so much about the knuckleheads anymore. I just stay away from them.
I want you to be as successful as you can be in your selling.
Find the deals that *are* for you, and walk away early from the ones that are just going to beat you up and then buy from the other guy.
Those blows to the head just aren’t worth it.
Sell with Pride!
-Shameless Shamus Brown